Is fake the new cool?

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I don’t understand why people look down upon other people by terming them as a “fake” person. So there is this girl  who is nice to everyone. Is it a big deal? Yes, when she is a person who turns out to be a snitch. She bitches about one person to another with great skill. Which is why she hasn’t been caught yet. And even if people know it, they brush it off because she has something called charm. Bottom line: She has maintained a fantastic protocol with everyone. Now this is a fake person. She isn’t supposed to be liked by people like me and people who think like me. And positively, I don’t like her. So does she lose out? No. She has many acquaintances I must say, if not “friends” and she gets help from them in return for the friendliness she bestows on them. On the other hand, there are people like me who do not get a second look from the person who could be of use to me because I had told her that she was not looking that pretty in her new dress. Oh well.

So the “fake” girl will always get help, will always have a buddy to talk to and will be crowned Miss. Popular. Where as I will always be in the corner and won’t have much people coming up to talk to me if on any day all of my three friends are absent.

It does not require rocket science to understand who is in a better position.

If you think you’re going to acquire this talent in your social life, read the prerequisites before shooting off to implement this technique. These prerequisites are like oxygen to humans if you want this job done real smoothly because the last thing you would want is to get caught bitching about someone else and get hated by the rest of the population on this planet (thanks to social media) for being “Oh my God so fake!”, though most of the rest of the population snuggle into the same category.

First. Are you a glib talker? If not, either drop the idea or start practicing. This girl had this like an inborn talent. Her speech, articulation, expressions: everything was admired and accepted or should I say, accepted and admired. The little tweaks she makes while narrating the truth sounds so natural that you would forget the original version of it.

Second. Are you humorous? If yes, you’re one step ahead. This great sense of humor + glib talk is a favorite among the crowds.

Third. Be a splendiferous praiser. Even if the new haircut is making the girl look like a pumpkin, make sure to make her feel like she’s the next Angelina Jolie. Or maybe the present one itself.

Fourth. Make sure to be in touch with all these people. It may sound a bit tiresome but all you have to do is make sure to post some great birthday message on their walls (the work of reminding you is already being done by Facebook) and reply to their texts with great enthusiasm even though you don’t remember who they are.

So if you think you can pull this off (I don’t see why you can’t because it’s pretty easy), go ahead, start your practice today. If not, come here and sit beside me.

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